Consistently inconsistent

I'm extraordinarily ordinary, with an amazingly mundane ability to talk circles on the subject of squares. I swear politely at wonderful idiots and am one of the many to be able to clearly speak gibberish.

My wonderfully articulate mumble has charmed many. Those who are angelically bitchy are treated to a graceful extension of my perfectly malformed middle finger. I then walk away, glancing back and ignoring their hurt expression at being praised.

I always leave them wanting to smother me with disaffection. On my bad days, I allow myself to treat them like the princess that they aren't. One of us always end up joyously unhappy but I can always figure out who.